Tuesday, October 29, 2013

derrière.

Everyone is the way they are because of what life did to them; They didn't want to be the way that they are; Each one of us are, because we were. There isn't a fix or cure that exist that can change any of that; and considering, how anyone is comfortable just being themselves. We don't see a reason to change ourselves.

The more accustomed we are to the comfort zone, the less likely we're going to leave it. To us, a normal bland routine is not good but for the sake of all purposes, it is safe and it works. Change comes when you try, there's no guarantee that the change will be for the better; there's always the propensity for calamity, hiding, lurking just behind that shadowed alley. Then, we become fearful of any sort of modifications to our routine, because breaking off from the norm is in itself is scary. The unknown. It piques us, baits us, try to throw us off the track. Some thirsty for adventure, seeks it while others shuns it like vampires running from the sun.

At the same time, those running away, looks behind; and that's when all hell breaks loose.


Saturday, October 19, 2013

Thunder.

It strikes, the blue streaked lightning, hammering down upon the earth, each time, bringing about a deafening roar unlike that of the a lion yet still fearsome and full of the same murderous intent. A subtle crackling follows the awe-inspiring tear across the wind, like particles diffusing in the air, ionized by the sudden electrical surge. 

The entire nightscape  illuminated by the blue-white, brings about a frozen image of the nocturnal. Owls and the likes, revealed by the ungodly blaring of the very skies which it hunts in, yet unfazed and uncaring. With this very blast from the furnace of the heavens, every movement on land seems to begin to slow and halt momentarily. All things seem to be waiting for the next one, again and again.

Though the saturated air is dry yet a certain kind of moist permeates through the air, as if foretelling a coming storm. Only if the sky's temperament is predictable, then might we have had found solace before all of it broke loose, down upon us mortals.

A biting gale rose, out of nowhere and with it, a rustling of branches which grew violent as it escalates; 
A warning that gave us no time to prepare for, the wind clawed at all that it could reach, fatal and impartial.

In this chaos brought out by the natural order of things, I could hear only your voice, booming like the thunder itself, distant but close to heart.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Human Heart.

Our hearts are weak.

I say so because the human heart is so easily broken; Failed relationships can easily rend a heart to a million pieces. Death too, can kill those still alive, just as it has taken those dearest to us. Tiredness, runs a heart until it's out of juice, effectively stopping it. Clogged arteries and veins, building up pressure, until all of it just bursts. Crushing one's heart by a ruptured rib cage, due to excessive impact or blunt trauma. Poking at it with an extremely sharp pointed object spills the juice and it goes down like a deflated balloon.

The list could go on and on but I'm missing the point I'm trying to make already.

and here's some music, go figure.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

The Box.

All of us begin as a metaphorical empty box, filled with nothing but innocence and naivety. There are no boundaries limiting how big or small this box could be, it can be as wide and as deep as seas and oceans, in the beginning. All wide-eyed and full of ourselves, we rush headlong into the world, neither knowing what to expect nor what to do with the unexpected. Then, it happens.

Growing up, we embark upon the arduous and never ending task of filling said box, with a variety of things - some of them matters, most of them don't. The more we stack into the symbolic box, the less we remember what we've put there to the point that we begin to question ourselves. What am I doing with my life?

That is the point when you'd become overwhelm with life itself. You'd become busier with the same amount of work but with less productivity than before, there might even be times when you just want to give up trying anymore. Yet, you trudge on, with whatever willpower you could muster, hoping that at the end of this soul crushing deluge, there will be serenity. The biblical equivalent of the light at the end of the tunnel.

We don't know this yet, but that peace does not lies all the way at the end. Depending on what you chose to put inside that allegorical box, any dissension disrupting your life's harmony could be eliminated instantly. Like, poof. Gone.

Personally, I'd put in love and passion enough to last me a lifetime and then seal the fuck out of that box.

City.

People from all walks of life, walking hurriedly along the pavement. The streets are packed, with sedans, cabs and bicycles. The city sway with perpetual motion, always moving and never a moment's rest in between. In this bustling hive of a metropolis, signs of activity could be seen everywhere; hot-dogs sellers by the sidewalk, office workers running late, students clamoring onto the school bus. 

Everybody is going on about their own business, all fast-paced and purpose-like. Nobody gave a second glance on the man standing on the ledge atop the skyscraper, that is, until he leaped.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Simple.

A silver locket shaped like a heart, laid neatly on the wooden table; 
A heart-shaped argent locket, rests glittering atop the timber; 
Lustrous silver locket, molded after a heart, lies glaring in all its splendor, atop the carved timber.

These three sentences mean the same thing but the vocabulary used and the way the sentence is arranged makes it seem so much more than what it is. In truth, there's really no need for bombastic words and the like for one to write...stuff. 

I want to write simple words, to carry within them deeper meanings and stronger emotions...so much more. I just haven't figure out the way that is right for me yet, but all in good time. It's due when it's due, not any time soon.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Amnesia.

I remember all of it, vividly.

Then, it dawned upon me. All that I have left are old memories to be remembered. The realization that you won't be creating any new experiences together is dead tough. There are stages of grief to go through and then there are stages where you just relapse and stay grieving. There's no one to tell you how hard its all gonna be, but it doesn't make it any less than what it is. Sure, everyone would be sympathetic and shit but it helps naught. Only you can make it better and there's no one in all of the nine universes who can help you. The sooner you put that through your head, the less painful it's going to be- not no pain but less.

It's called living in the past for a reason, you can't change anything so all you could do is try to remember it all exactly as it is. That itself is another challenge because it's so much better the way you remembered it rather than what had actually happen in the past. Dwelling upon the unchangeable and retrospective is one of my strong points. What you retained in those fleeting moments of joy gives you something along the lines of a liberation, you can change anything at will and you yourself won't be none the wiser.

Then there are moments that makes you wish you were amnesic. Aplenty.


Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Dramatizing.

I want to thank some very important people without whom this blog wouldn't have existed. It's been a long road since the my couple of blogs from before, indeed. I wouldn't have imagined myself still writing blogs and stuff when I first created my blogger account and that was so many years ago. I do feel so very old right now.

Who would've thought that an attempt to stay in touch with friends could become something so much more? True, what initially drove me to open a blog is an entirely different than what I have in mind now but that doesn't make it any less vital. In fact, without that innocent reason, I wouldn't be having this post written this very instance. It really just all boils down to the choices you make and what you do to keep going at it.

I like to write very much. There's a certain liberating sort of feel when I put words to all those feels that I couldn't express well in person. It's somewhat a rush for me when there are certain nights that all of it just clicks and flows. Effortless, everything just comes naturally and tonight is one of those precious nights. 

I wouldn't have figured out that I enjoy writing and have this blog as a platform without everyone that I've met up to point of my life. But there are a few select individuals whom has given a greater impact upon my writings than most and for that, it warrants a little appreciation even if they didn't ask for it at all. Heck, they might not even know about the impact that they have had on me. 

Lets take it from the top.

My family. Without them, I wouldn't have all that money to blow on my hoarding of books. Also, for the nurturing and care that took me from hating the language to being immersed in it. 

Teachers. I've been taught by quite a number of teachers but only one of few truly lived up to what teaching means, language wise, other subjects notwithstanding. An unnamed 'teacher' who gave me tuition classes. Unnamed because 'teacher' was all I called her through out the lessons which as recalled, were brutal. Next, my form 5 teacher - Pn Loh. I know our class weren't exactly the best and brightest therefore we're really lucky to have her then. She's fair; Gave credit when credit's due and punished when we deserved it. She's also the first teacher to give me confidence in my own writing and that was really all a student could ask for from a teacher.

Friends. I'm really lucky to have some pretty encouraging friends. There are those who helped mentally, physically and likewise. You do know who you are and so I wouldn't go into another long-winded account of how you all gave me a reason to continue writing. The point is, you were there then; you're still here now.

Last but not least, a thank you for all you anonymous readers! And for those unwary facebook friends who clicked on this link accidentally too!

I am one heck of a drama king if I may say so myself.