Inc(re)dulous.

Food for thought, just something that's been drifting in my head all weekend.

You isolate yourself, trying for solitude but end up with loneliness and that's fine,
but you try to shield yourself with that self-erected barrier, avoiding everyone else.
You'd become accustomed to the darkness; it greets you like a friend,
but you're afraid of whom you call friend, because it is asphyxiating, choking.
You try to grapple with the void, with nothingness, where everything is for naught,
but you don't realize that it's your own shadow you've struggling so hard against.

We try so hard to be independent, to be on our own, surviving in this harsh world. Sometimes we just miss the big picture of why we're here at all, there have to be a reason because I cannot bring myself to believe that this is all just a test of our mortality, of our perseverance, of our faith?

Imagine one day, you just disappear. You stop showing up to work, to class, or whatever it is your daily routine. No explanation whatsoever, you just stop; no status update to tell where you went; no tweets to share your location; no check-ins at that coffee place. Just, poof.

Would you be missed? Does anyone care that you're gone, just like that? Would anyone care enough to find out the reason? However ridiculous or petty it may sound? Just take a small moment in your life; stop and consider this incredulous question that I've been pondering when I should have been studying. (and no, that person cannot be your mom; and yes, we all love our moms)

just something (pointless) to stimulate your brain cells.

Waves.

The waves come and go, seemingly without any coherent pattern but if you do listen carefully, you can hear a rhythmic interval somewhat infused into the chaos. It recedes and rises right at the exact moments, a harmonic motion made of natural things. An unseen force pushes and pulls the entire ocean, without effort and doesn't it just feels like magic? Maybe it is after all.

Is it the wind? Some kind of  weird magnetic fields made up of the Earth and moon's alignment? There's probably some kind of scientific explanation to the theory behind; a long winded account of how some scientists gathered in a lab filled with sciency equipment and drew pretty diagrams on theories behind this phenomena. Probably not.

Right this instance, I just want to stand at the very edge and let the waves wash over me, feeling every periodic splash on my face, running down my body. Every droplet of water, a sense of renewed vigor, somewhat rejuvenating old memories, flashing before my eyes.

Just let the sea take all of it away.

hardly literal.

we rushed to the start, without a care in the world.
not knowing what to expect, just let our feelings poured.
and emptied, of itself.

there's no one to stop us; no one could even if they tried.

we let romance filled our heads with foolish notions.
not caring the consequences, just letting things run its course.
and ran away, she did.

there's no one to save me, from me now.

Trick.

You try, try and try. But what do you get in return? There's so much you need to try in life, so much to give, so little to take. It practically overwhelms you starting from day one, the very day you realize that life is an actual living entity that does nothing but screws with you every now and then.

It's like hitting your bare knuckles against a wall that is neither visible nor destructible. An impregnable cell, slowly getting smaller, taking with it every bits of light, caving you in the tropes of life.

The suffocation drives us on, we push against it, hammering the unknown with every ounce of strength we could muster, giving it all we've got, wanting, needing to break it down.

Just out of the blue, you start to realize, the trick to it, the loophole in the grand scheme of all natural things. It's like the final piece in a thousand jigsaw; when you see it, you just know that this is it. The final boss battle in a good old fashioned RPG if that's your thing (it's mine). 

There's no telling when it might happen but one day it will just dawn on you.

Misty.

There are friends with whom you're both trying to stay in touch but sometimes it just seems like that no matter what you two do, all that happens between you two is the ever gaping hole that drifts you further apart. 

Like sailing on a wooden raft in the middle of the sea; you're both on a different raft with a very thin string connecting the two. The ocean with her rage, snaps the string easily and the two just couldn't keep that tiny common ground that was what once brought you two together.

and then, there's only the misty seas and you, in total solitude.

#

I liked it when I just typed what I loved to type, rather than this vicious cycle I'm putting myself through. Trying to piece words together just to flaunt my wound, to what end? 

I don't know.

Hope.

The seas are finally calm, it has been weeks and months of raging storms with no end in sight. What used to be a picturesque landscape turned into a disastrous wreck; houses built too close to the ocean are no more, leaving behind only the foundations, traces of human life are plenty but too small to be of any comfort. Even the sandy beach is but a pale shadow of its former glory, all gloom and dark filled with broken masts and planks from the nearby harbors. All life seems to end right at this area, floras and faunas seem to have found an invisible boundary, now clearly visible due to the stark contrast of no-life; uprooted trees and rock formations all over the place, giving the ravaged town another thorough trampling without much afterthought. A bustling fishing village reduced to a barren wasteland, devoid of any activity; it seems to be a scene taken right out of a post apocalyptic world, that we could only dreamed of, until now.

Right in the bleakness of all this, there remains a small green plant, surviving the onslaught, growing and moving on.